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OPEN THREAD: ROGUE NATION

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EVERYONE KNOWS YOU SHOULDN'T PRODUCE INTERNET CONTENT FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF ANTAGONIZING YOUR BOSS. WHAT THIS CONTENT PRESUPPOSES IS: MAYBE YOU SHOULD

[taps mic] testing

[clears throat]

how does a bastard
Georgian
student of Mack and of Saban
dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot
in Alabama by providence
improbably at Auburn
come back
to be head coach of a new ballclub?

The blue collar
Florida Gator
with many haters
Got a lot farther by yelling a lot harder
by being a lot madder
by coaching a lot badder
by forty
they placed him in charge of Urban's roster

and every day his teams were being slaughtered and carted away
went 4-8, he struggled and kept his voice up
inside, he was longing for something to put his fist through
the brother looked like he might beg, steal, borrow or kill you

Then the Hurricanes came and beat them in a game
our man saw his future drip-dripping down the drain
he could've lost to Temple if they had only played
his last year, fired before they got to Florida State

well the word got around, they said "legitimately insane, man"
took up a collection to send him back to the Plains, and
"stick to coordinating, don't forget from whence you came, and -
the world's going to know your name - what's your name, man?"

WILLIAM LARRY MUSCHAMP
MY NAME IS WILLIAM LARRY MUSCHAMP
AND THERE'S A MILLION YARDS I HAVEN'T GAINED
BUT JUST YOU WAIT
JUST YOU WAIT

went from LSU when Saban split, full of it, to the Dolphins
two years later, he's back in college coachin' at Auburn
won some games coachin' Tuberville's defenses
[whisper] then Tommy got fired after Will went to Texas

moved in with Mack Brown, Mack Brown was startin' to downslide
they said he'd be next up whenever Brown would choose to move aside

but a voice was saying
"Will, you gotta look somewhere else" "You gotta fend for yourself"

He started retreatin', and lookin' for offers somewhere else

There would've been nothing left to do for someone so offensively futile
he might've been fired after two if his defenses weren't so brutish
without a hint of evolution
Started workin', back at Auburn under Malzahn
He jumped for the first job he could get his paws on
Screamin' at the refs and barely keepin' pants on
plannin' for the future

see him now as he stands on the cusp of deal, headed for a new job
In Columbia you can be a retread

In Columbia you can be a retread [just you wait]
In Columbia you can be a retread [just you wait]
Just you wait

[COMPANY]
William Larry Muschamp
We are waiting in the East for you
You could never back down
and you never learned to coach offense

Oh, William Larry Muschamp

When the SEC sings for you
will they know what you overcame?
will they know you ain't changed a thing?

your plan will probably be the same

The contract has been offered now
See if you can spot him
Just another assistant coach
comin' up from Auburn

EDSBS destroyed his rep
America forgot him

[BRANTLEY/BRISSETT/MURPHY]
We fought for him

[JEFF DRISKELL]
Me? I died for him

[JEREMY FOLEY]
Me? I trusted him

[JIMBO FISHER, STEVE SPURRIER, GARY PINKEL]
Me? I loved him

[JEFF MONKEN]
And me? I'm the damn fool that shot him

[COMPANY]
There's a million yards he hasn't gained
But just you wait

[MONKEN]
What's your name, man?

[COMPANY]
HEAD BALL COACH WILL MUSCHAMP