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THE CURIOUS INDEX ISN'T PANICKING EVERYTHING IS FINE

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WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT QUESTION? OF COURSE EVERYTHING IS FINE, WE'VE JUST MISPLACED A FEW QUARTERBACKS PERMANENTLY IS ALL.

Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports

WHAT A RANDOM OCCURRENCE. Just days after Kyle Allen announced he was transferring away from Texas A&M, Kyler Murray is doing the same thing. For those of you keeping track, that's now five four or five-star quarterback recruits to transfer away from Texas A&M just since 2013. I guess this is what happens after you stop winning with Mike Sherman's players, huh?

OH YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT'S DISRESPECT. Sports Illustrated called Mark Dantonio "Mike" on their newest cover. This is going to power Michigan State to the most unrelenting assbeating of Alabama that we're all just going to stop and give them the title that night.*

*You don't have to quote me here or remember that I said this in face uhhhh Ryan wrote this yes Ryan

YOU IDIOTS. In a state known for its propensity for craven, schemin' ass behavior, LSU officials going in and changing provisions of their contract with former defensive coordinator John Chavis is effective, yet lacks the typical flair you'd come to expect from these folks. Additional points have been deducted for JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMITTING IT WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING JUST KEEP LYING AUUUUGHGHGHAHGHGH.

MAKES U THINK. Toledo's 2015 season truly represents the duality of man. On one hand, they successfully won the transitive SEC, Big Ten, and Big 12 titles, which is fine. On the other hand, they couldn't even win the damn MAC West, let alone the MAC. Is it possible to be both proud and disappointed? Consult the unbroken stare of Rocky, and know the universe's unknowable truths.

rocky

ETC. A delightful examination of all the ways people respond to being called the most horrifying, unforgivable insult in the world: Mad Online.