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THE CURIOUS INDEX NEEDS YOU TO STOP

PLEASE, JUST STOP

By Ryan Nanni
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Here is a dumb thing to say.

There's the technical counterpoint; we're talking about people who've reached the age of majority in almost every state, can vote according to the 26th Amendment, and are required to register with the Selective Service. You already know this flaw in Oliver Luck's talking point, because you are smart and very talented. (Have we mentioned that lately? You're so smart and talented.)

Then there's the fact that being an adult is not a prerequisite to being paid for work, which is how you were able to make enough money for a car stereo system you absolutely did not need in 1998. "But the Rush Hour soundtrack sounds amazing with this setup!" Stop it. You wasted this money, and you should embrace that. Oh, that brings us to another dumb thing to say.

Raise your hand if you've never spent money on something you didn't really need that wasn't a sound long term investment. If your hand is raised, get the fuck out of here. We want you to have a savings account and not get way in over your head in debt. We also want you to occasionally spend too much at dinner or do something extravagant or waste money in an interesting way that you will later laugh at. As it turns out, you can be financially responsible AND make some dumb purchases. AMERICA!

This is not an argument about whether players deserve to get paid, because Spencer already did that better than I ever could. If you disagree, congratulations: you have a different opinion on the Internet. But "you're too young" and "you'll waste the money" are arguments for preventing an eight year old from cashing a $500 savings bond. They are not meaningful or intelligent ways to address the topic. They're bad arguments being put forward by people who are smarter than this. 

(extremely Julia Sugarbaker voice) Though maybe that's because they ran out of good arguments.