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LET US DELIGHT IN: PAXTON LYNCH

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PAXTON LYNCH, AKA YUNG DRY RUB, AKA ACTUALLY GOOD BROCK OSWEILER.

Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to the another edition of LET US DELIGHT IN, a weekly feature in which we, well, delight in the performance of a particular football player from the previous weekend. This week, we are delighting in the performance of Memphis quarterback Paxton Lynch.

Ahem.

Unfortunately for Paxton Lynch and Memphis, the conversation during their 63-0 incineration of SMU was about Justin Fuente's impending exit for the Virginia Tech job. Understandable, sure, but Lynch's performance demands recognition. This tall drink of water dished out the most economical ass kicking I've witnessed in some time.

The numbers, of course, are silly. 9-14, 222 yards, and seven (7) touchdowns. S E V E N. That number ties Lynch with Arkansas' Brandon Allen for the most touchdown passes in a game this season, and also puts him in a tie for the FBS record for touchdown passes in a single game.

(If you ever need another scrap of evidence that this is the world's silliest sport, Arkansas and Memphis owning this particular statistic would certainly work. Unlike Allen's performance against Mississippi State, though, Lynch only needed nine completions to get there compared to Allen's 30.)

Lynch's pass chart reads like a work of fiction:

1. Incomplete
2. 43-yard touchdown
3. Incomplete
4. 34-yard completion
5. Incomplete
6. Incomplete
7. 16-yard touchdown
8. 21-yard touchdown
9. 15-yard touchdown
10. Incomplete
11. 44-yard touchdown
12. 21-yard completion
13. 6-yard touchdown
14. 22-yard touchdown

Lynch didn't even attempt a pass in the second half, with his efforts in building a 56-0 halftime lead being deemed sufficient for one day. Aside from the FBS record, Lynch also set an AAC record for passing touchdowns in a single game, and set the Memphis school record with 28 touchdown passes this season.

The sheer economy with which Lynch disintegrated the SMU defense is what's truly amazing. He was like a boxer that only threw a few punches, but landed almost all of them and they were all haymakers. I mean, is SMU a smoldering trash heap on defense? 119th in Defensive S&P+ would certainly indicate that yes, they really are wretched. That doesn't really matter, though. There have been dozens of bad games involving horrible defenses this year though, and it's not like seven touchdown games were growing on trees all year.

Disregard the haters, Paxton Lynch. You can't see them. Maybe because you're so tall.