(coughs up fumble coated in blood)
Oh, it's just seasonal. Whenever the weather changes I get a little weird. It's fine, really. Could you just get me a glass of water?
(drops glass onto bare foot)
Ooo, yeah, that smarts a bit. Exposed bone is probably bad, right? Yeesh. No, no, please don't worry about me. If you have a dishtowel you don't mind sacrificing, I can manage.
(towel catches fire)
Woof, that smell. Though maybe it's cauterizing the wound? Just leave it. Fire's natural so it has to be good for your body.
(teeth spontaneously fall out)
Yeah thah a lihl bih uh a prohluh.
(Florida manages to win a miserable 9-7 game against Vanderbilt)