SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 3.35: THE RIVALRY WEEK EDITION

The early Thanksgiving edition of the RIVALRY WEEK AARRRGGGH RIVALRY WEEK Shutdown Fullcast arrives to the dinner without a dish, alcohol, or anything but a smile. Did you invite the Shutdown Fullcast here naked and without a thing to contribute to your holiday? No, but it's here anyway.

Please get it a towel while it discusses all of the following and more:

• Ryan introduces his mixtape "Buyout Season 2: the Leveraging"
• We make guesses on Monday night about things that will happen for the rest of the week, including Florida State hiring Les Miles, Maryland reconsidering and giving love a second punt's chance, and Les Miles joining John Calipari in making Kentucky the most feared state in college athletics.
• Jim McElwain continuing Florida's tradition of hiring clergymen as head coach
• Our Iron Bowl preview, which is really just us saying "Mobile is the best city in Alabama," and proposing its new motto "Mobile: There's alcohol there, and you can drink it."
• Our Ohio State/Michigan preview, which is really just us saying "This is a 10-10 game we are going to celebrate for its elephantine mass and pace"
• A digression where Texas becomes Slippy from Starfox
• A proposal for Tinder, but with coaches
• A conclusion about the Big 12 fixing absolutely nothing, ever!

Listen in the Soundcloud player below, subscribe on iTunes, or download directly here. Alternately, for $49,999, we'll come to your house and do it live!*

*we won't