THE CURIOUS INDEX EXAMINES A TIN HORN

LIKE SHIT THROUGH A TIN HORN

There are questions, like: how is shit pushed through a tin horn? For what purposes in West Virginia is shit introduced into a tin horn, and how often and for what economies? Is the tin horn/shitpushing a ceremonial thing, or a festive prank? Does Nick Saban, or anyone else fluent with this phrase, aware that tin would actually be one of the better metals for this kind of activity, chemically speaking? Is this less literal, or more figurative, as in "shit through a contemptible person?" Do you notice how many times Nick's hand hits the podium, and how the perpetually untouched Coca-Cola in the bottle moves ever so slightly? Is Nick Saban the most self-aware coachranter of all time? Do you remember the Georgia Southern game? Because Nick Saban does, right down to frame-by-frame breakdowns of individual plays, most likely.

GET BETTER, SIR. Denzel Nkemdiche is in the ICU? Well, that sucks in every possible way.

IS IT TREATABLE WITH ANTIBIOTICS? Jim McElwain, budding epidemiologist of slang.

13 POINTS SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT BECAUSE BILL SAID IT. But yeah, when you've got that kind of talent versus Michigan State without a fully healthy Connor Cook, 13 points might even be generous when looking at Ohio State's exact margin of victory. Then again this is Michigan State, and they have made a living off of looking at your math and drawing obscene pictures on it.

THIS IS AN ACCURATE SUMMATION OF MIKE LEACH. Not just because of the profanities, mind you, but because of the general attitude of "we lost to Portland State, and will change nothing because we never change anything because what we do is awesome."

ETC: THE BEST POLITICAL ANALYSIS IN THE NATION, ONLY ON SB NATION DOT COM.