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WOULD YOU LIKE DAK PRESCOTT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE FOR YOU

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NO REALLY, JUST ASK, HE'S HERE TO HELP

Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

Dak Prescott would like you to just, yanno. You don't have to call. Calling might be a bit too much. He gets it if you feel like that's too personal, because people have different standards of behavior and stuff. Dak Prescott wants you to know he considers these things because he cares, and tries to understand people, the way leaders do.

Dak Prescott also wants you to know he has 18 TDs passing and only one interception on the year. He's not bragging! Oh heavens no, the last thing he wants is to think that he's arrogant or bragging. that's just what the stat sheet says, as a 7-2 Mississippi State team gears up to play Alabama this weekend. Look, it's right there on the paper! He's proud of that, but enough about Dak, what's been going on with you?

You ran that half-marathon? Most of it, at least? Well, that sounds hard but really great. Dak Prescott is proud of you, and may have gotten these unbranded running gels for you as a gift because he saw your Instagram, and is just really, really proud of you. Unbranded, why? Wouldn't want to commit an NCAA violation by appearing to make an endorsement.

The label's blacked-out with a sharpie; the flavor and vital electrolytes, however, aren't.

Dak just wants you to consider that TD to INT ratio. Would you like some tea? Tea's good this time of day, and you seem like a tea person. You are? Well, look at that.

[Dak Prescott disappears into kitchen, reappears with fully stocked box of various high-quality teas and a boiling kettle and your favorite cup]

So was that half-marathon hard? WOW. How long did you train? Had you done one before? That sounds hard. Dak? He's just the all-time leader in touchdowns for a QB at Mississippi State. He's only second in rushing TDs, though. Did you get like, special shoes for that? Orthotics? Do you need some? Dak has a friend who works as a trainer, and she's got all kinds of free stuff she can't give away. No, it's no biggie, you're helping her! He's probably the best QB the school's ever had, and it's not even close by numbers, but...can he get you some more tea?

With lemon, yes?

No? Cool, cool. So yeah, Dak only has three regular season games left as a college football player. One of them's against Alabama, and sure, he's never beaten them. (Or South Carolina. Life's strange like that, but you have to accept it.) Honestly, Dak probably won't beat Alabama this year. Have you seen how well they're playing right now? Buddy, they're pretty good, just a real solid football team there. Dak can admit that about other football teams, even the bad ones Mississippi State has handled so well in his time there.

Whoah, boy! Yes, that's his non-allergenic Portuguese Water Dog. Does Dak Prescott have other dogs? Of course. He rescues several a year, and acts as their alpha to ensure pack harmony without using some of the more brutal methods endorsed by Cesar Milan. No, it's not that, he just disagrees with him, that's all, without disrespecting his business acumen and overall gifts to dog-lovers everywhere. We're all adults. We can do that.

His name's Rodrigo. He'll bring you a mineral water if you use the command "Agua con gas." Be sure to include the "con gas," his command language is Spanish. His love language is English.

Dak Prescott's love language, for the purposes of this conversation is football, and Dak just want you to remember that, Mississippi State fans and anyone else watching him. Dak did it all. 26-9 as a starter, mostly thanks to the team, of course. All impossible without them, and Dak Prescott was just lucky to be there, which is a thing he would say about the whole situation. I hope people remember that, even if and when they lose to Alabama this weekend.

They've lost to Alabama before, and they'll probably lose to Alabama again. But you probably won't think it's impossible if he's out there, will you? That's a kind of record, too, and Dak Prescott might want you to remember that, if he were so bold as to bring it up in conversation. Which he wouldn't, because he's too busy asking you what you need, devoted football fan of one of fifty teams who might never win a national title, but fill stadiums every Saturday nonetheless.

P.S. Here's Dak Prescott's private number. If you need anything at all in the Starkville area, or if you're going through Sulphur, Louisiana. No, it's no big deal. He's here to help.