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HATIN' ASS SPURRIER STAYS UNDEFEATED

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AND JUST LIKE IOWA HE'S PROBABLY NOT REAL

Didn't see Les eat any grass. Something that rhymed with grass? Now, that I saw.

Well his name ain't Leonard Score-nette.

Refs could have flagged Bama for too many men in the backfield on defense.

I call Bama's offense the Pablo Escobar Plan because it's all about hiding a Coker.

I call Cal's defense the Costco Butcher because they'll give you alarming amounts of ground.

Based on how many TDs FSU scored in the second half, maybe we should call him Jimb0.

Good to see the law's got a handle on the Noles now. Watson didn't even need Sherlock's help on Saturday.

Duke held UNC to 66 and Karl Hess wasn't even on the field.

I get why the refs didn't throw a flag on the Huskers. You don't want to discourage kids from trying to leave Nebraska.

Oh, so NOW Mark Dantonio's big on the law.

Call UNC lung cancer, cause they're killing a Duke.People are gonna call LSU's o-line a bunch of turnstiles, but that ain't fair. Turnstiles slow people down.

Course, on the other hand, people jump turnstiles, too.

What do you mean Mizzou's gonna START forfeiting games?

That Baylor/K-State score looks more impressive when you remember that Bill Snyder works off 1957 exchange rates.

Funny thing is that 39-38 is gonna be the score of Michigan State/Nebraska's basketball game, too.

It's okay, Trevone Boykin. It ain't called T. Boone Completi-ens Stadium, is it?

9-7? Muschamp left Jim McElwain with a horrible bullpen.

9-7's the right score for a game that was uglier than baggy JNCOs.

The Gators dropped the ball so often you'd think it was a science course.

I call that game medieval child mortality because no one was making it to ten.

Good to see someone besides Huntley Johnson bail the Gators out for once.

Louisville's won three in a row? Well, it's good to see Bobby Petrino take a sudden turn that doesn't end up in a ditch.

Corn passes right through most people, Michigan State.

Don't know how Alabama fans can be so big on abstinence education. Look what just giving the tip to Ole Miss did to their whole season.

Figure Ole Miss is the one school that'd be comfortable with something completely backwards.

Not the first night Bielema's had where throwing something up turned the whole night around.

Kevin Sumlin works for an ag school, so I guess an offense that keeps getting picked is just part of the curriculum.

So that's how James Franklin stays so thin - he doesn't care about seconds.

Oregon State has that Nissan Leaf kind of offense. Zero emissions.

If Todd Graham's dream job is Mike Leach beating him by two TDs, he should have just stayed at Rice a little longer.

Memphis got flattened by Navy. That's a football game AND a turn in a game of Civilization. That's what you get for being Egypt, though.

Iowa might be a Terry Gilliam film, because nobody can decide if they're any good and either way we'd rather watch Predator.

Gravity, death, and Jason Whitlock. And you say "undefeated" like that's a good thing, Iowa.

Ohio State didn't put Minnesota in the wood chipper until the end, but it was a drama involving Minnesota so that's typical.