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WHO'S PUNCHING WHOM TODAY IN THE SEC

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AN IMPORTANT UPDATE ON PUNCHING IN GOD'S CONFERENCE

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

DUKE WILLIAMS IS PUNCHING EVERYONE. He allegedly punched four people in Auburn in a single fight at Skybar, so that's basically like, half of everyone when you're talking about a town of that size. The fight started when a member of Williams' party declined to remove his sunglasses at Skybar, which seems deeply uncool of Skybar to ask. It's bright in clubs, and the retinas are like the ACLs of the eyeball. They're tender, and one must protect them at all costs.

Anyway, Williams' friend was booted from the club, Williams tried to use his Auburn Celebrity Status to get his friend back in the club, and then decided to unleash hell himself.  How do you punch four people in a single fight that quickly without the bouncers getting to you, and getting to you with extreme prejudice? And if Williams did actually punch four people, what do we need to set up the ultimate multi-ball fight between Williams and legendary skateboarder and rage addict Mike Vallely?

Mike Vallely is currently the lead singer of Black Flag. Yes, that Black Flag.

NO ONE IS PUNCHING ANYONE AT TENNESSEE. Nope, not one bit, especially not the coach punching a player in practice with alleged videotape of the incident hiding out somewhere. Wide receiver Pig Howard is off the team, though, and that's certainly news for a team struggling offensively and in need of playmakers. But no: no one is punching anyone at Tennessee, a well-run program where nothing ever goes wrong, and no one ever leaves in the middle of the night for another job.

MIZZOU IS PUNCHING WITH KINDNESS. Oh for chrissakes Mizzou--

Former Gators linebacker Michael Taylor: "The last two years we played them, they were just upstanding citizens. You would talk mess and would say something disrespectful to them and they were just like, 'OK.' They were just nice guys helping you off the field. And they were good, which kind of disturbed me. Like, 'Say something, talk trash, do something.' Don't just be nice." - See more at: https://florida.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1811257#sthash.nU2rNoc4.dpuf

WE'RE FROM FLORIDA. KINDNESS IS JUST CONFUSING TO US ALL.