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LET US DELIGHT IN: JOSHUA GARNETT

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TEN AND A HALF GOD DAMN POUNDS OF BEEF.

Bob Stanton-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to the another edition of LET US DELIGHT IN, a weekly feature in which we, well, delight in the performance of a particular football player from the previous weekend. This week, we are delighting in the performance of Stanford guard Joshua Garnett.

On Saturday night, Stanford kept its streak of organized violence against hapless prey alive by pounding Washington into the ground 31-14. The score may not be super impressive compared to other works in their portfolio, but at no point during this game did Washington seem like a credible threat.

There's been a lot to like about Stanford lately, but we may have been given the most Stanford play of the year on Saturday. Naturally, it came from an offensive lineman.

The play starts normally enough. Stanford is running a screen, and Garnett takes his man, defensive end Jaylen Johnson, and uses his momentum against him to whip him to the ground. For most lineman, this is already a good play. He didn't stop, though.

After getting out to the next level, Garnett zeroed in on his target and painted his masterpiece, sending him flying into damned orbit as a cloud of pads and hurt feelings. The poor bastard Garnett turned into space junk is defensive back JoJo McIntosh, and I honestly feel bad for him because he never had a shot.

If you watch the vine a couple times, you pick up new things each time. Like how the receiver on the play, fullback Daniel Marx, cut back to the left, going back to the left side of Garnett, but did it late enough in the run that McIntosh was coming in with his head down and arms out, as if he would have a shot to bring him down.

There's no way we can know for sure if he saw Garnett coming. It certainly doesn't look like he did, because the way his body ragdolled after the hit has the distinct look of a man who had no idea he was about to be expunged from existence.

But lo, there's more to Mr. Garnett outside of this incredible display of violence. In his bio page on the official Stanford website, there's a video where he instructs you in the proper way to block power. But hidden near the end of this video lies the true knowledge we seek.

garnett

It's the only fact listed, and honestly, eating 10.5 pounds of prime rib in one sitting is the only fact we need.

Joshua Garnett, you are a delight. Please don't hurt us.