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THE CURIOUS INDEX IS NOT THROWING THESE HANDS

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IN DEFENSE OF NOT GETTING ONE'S ASS KICKED.

A MOMENT ON NO. 35. By now, you may have seen the footage of the big ass brawl last night during a Mississippi JUCO game. If you haven't, please consult the video and tweets here and come back. We'll wait for you.

[shifts weight for a couple minutes while talking about two-week regional weather patterns]

Okay great, you're back. There's a lot to unpack here, but for the purposes of this post, I want to talk about my guy, No. 35. Listen, you're probably catching a lot of shade for not getting into the middle of that mess and trying to knock people's heads off. But I just want to tell you, 35 (and 40, and all the other dudes kind of running back and forth on the outside of the crowd but most certainly not trying to get into the middle of it, let alone throw hands at someone), that you did the right thing.

Fighting in sports is stupid, but perhaps it's at its most dumb in football. People are basically wearing body armor on all the places you normally punch during a fight, and if you are unfortunate enough to have your helmet pulled off, you better run like hell just in case someone loses their mind and tries to swing your helmet back at you. People do all kinds of insane shit during brawls that they would normally never consider otherwise. You don't need that in your life. Or, heaven forbid, you're the idiot who tries to punch someone in the head while they're still wearing a helmet.

Fights are dumb. The things you do in fights are even dumber. Blessed are those that can protect themselves from their own idiocy.

IN NON-BRAWL GAMES:

Appalachian State put Georgia Southern in the cobra clutch after disrespecting the hell out of Beautiful Eagle Creek. Don't let Paul Johnson ever get his hands on you, Scott Satterfield.

Temple blocked two damn punts in the fourth quarter to win a very stupid game over East Carolina and stay undefeated.

UCLA whipped the cracks off of Cal despite losing several important contributors to injury. They also wore extremely butt black uniforms, because if you're going to wear adidas uniforms, at least make sure they look like an adidas x hot topic collaboration.

Kai Fairbarin did hit a 60 yard field goal though.