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THE CURIOUS INDEX TAKES TO THE SKIES

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BUTCH WILL LEAD US BACK WHERE EAGLES DARE.

Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

ONE TIME FOR THE SKY WRITERS. Miami now has a loss to go with the fan base's curdled hate for Al Golden, going down 34-23 to Cincinnati. Last night was the third game out of four that someone's flown a "Fire Al Golden" banner over a Miami game, and eventually, some lunatic who can't afford to pay their rent but has purchased several sky banners will be able to say "I DID THAT, BRO!" You did, Terry. You did. You also still haven't paid the guy who flew from Miami to Cincinnati for this, and it's probably about time you faked your own death to get out of paying.

Of note from the actual game: Hosey Williams teleported all over your shit, Miami. It was over before you knew it was over.

HOSEY

Additionally:

LEAVE THE BOTTLE. People are talking a lot about Alabama-Georgia, and I get it, I guess. But for my money, family, I'm here this weekend for West Virginia-Oklahoma. It should be really fun! Also, I just got a personal telex from Dana Holgorsen explaining that any overtime rules are being substituted for a one on one whiskey showdown at midfield on a busted up kitchen table.

I know! I'm not sure why I have a telex either!

YEAH BUT MY KNEE SAYS IT'S GONNA STAY DRY ALL WEEKEND. Maryland-Michigan's getting pushed from an 8 p.m. kick all the way up to noon due to Hurricane Joaquin. Every game along the east coast is going to get drenched, is what it seems like. Alabama fans are delighted by this, as in their mind it's not football unless everyone is completely covered in mud and trying to sprint while army crawling through powerful runoff.

ETC. The story of how a man with a spellbinding mullet absconded with a minor league baseball mascot costume and went out and partied his ass off.