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OPEN THREAD, THIRD SHIFT

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OH HEY JUST HAVING A NORMAL EVENI(FALLS OFF CLIFF)

Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

(sighs)

I love these crisp fall evenings. Totally relaxing and calm, leaving you feeling like nothing in the world can go wrong. The serenity is what makes is so special. The other seasons are gorgeous in their own ways, sure. But autumn feels so perfectly balanced, between hot and cold, between life and death, between old and n-

(trips on tree root)
(rips pants)
(falls into ravine)
(ravine is absolutely filled with panthers)
(wait these panthers are spitting acid)
(they're incredibly accurate)
(cops show up)
(nope they're acid panthers dressed up as cops and they've stolen your credit card)
(now they used your credit card to buy generic candy)
(the acid panthers sent the candy to your mother for her birthday)
(they included a remarkably accurate forgery of your signature in a card that said "fuck you mom, i wish i'd grown up in an orphanage")
(why aren't you dead yet, there's so much acid)