THE CURIOUS INDEX WHERE EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE

THAT'S ON FIRE. Spurrier retired. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

THAT'S ON FIRE, TOO. Will Grier is gone-gone, Florida might be sort of okay anyway, says someone who clearly doesn't understand panic and disaster. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

WHOA, FIRE OVER THERE, WHY DIDN'T WE PLAN FOR THIS MUCH FIRE. That thing. The Sarkisian thing, where he got fired because he's got a serious alcohol problem. That's on fire, too, though at least Sark is getting treatment now and that's a very good thing and sort of putting out one fire.

USC, THO: Very much badly yes. On fire. With the fire things and the Pat Haden just throwing gasoline everywhere. Stop making fire where there's already fire, Pat. That's bad and you should stop doing this.

HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW IF MARYLAND IS ON FIRE. How, we ask. How.

NO.

No I have never EVEN been to gainesville hug for u Will GRier

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) October 13, 2015

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.