You've got one more day, @ClayTravisBGID. pic.twitter.com/hpEhsZnDyN— Drew Franklin (@DrewFranklinKSR) January 30, 2015
It's hard out there for a Hot Taker sometimes. One moment, you're accusing Marshawn Lynch of orchestrating the Munich Olympic Bombings. You're flying high on the intoxicating air of self-righteousness coupled with a mild hint of dog-whistle racism. Stephen A. Smith is arguing about what you said like a homeless man's Clarence Darrow, only if Clarence Darrow were tasked with discussing the very very very very very very stupid (and the Scopes Monkey Trial was dumb as hell, so we're talking Peak Stupid). Yeah, like that.
But then, like Icarus, you fly too close to the Hot Take Sun, which is made of undiluted Colin Cowherd. You say something on the Internet, forgetting that the Internet never forgets, and never moves on, and is a continual source of the eternal memory of the shittest shit you ever shat. You once said that Live Free or Die Hard would stand the test of time, and you believed that because it features Bruce Willis driving a truck into a fighter jet in midair. You no longer believe that. But the Internet knows you did, and will occasionally remind you. You are never too good for the Internet to lay you low.
So when Clay Travis, who writes some stuff you likely ignore and a book that I thought was very funny at a time when I was also drinking vodka combined with Gatorade (note: this still holds up), said that 2010 NBA draftee and noted giant man DeMarcus Cousins would get arrested within five years for no apparent reason, he cast off into the Hot Take atmosphere. He glided gently through the wispy clouds, lifted up ever so slowly on the winds of "I have a place to write on the Internet, I shall now discuss my super hot former-cheerleader wife and my time playing golf at Vanderbilt Law." And perhaps he thought that his take, once scalding, had cooled enough to be forgotten. Perhaps his take was now room temperature. Tepid.
But no. No, the take remained hot. And it stayed hot for five long years, long past your memory, until the Internet seized its moment and reminded Clay Travis that no, DeMarcus Cousins did not get arrested, and perhaps he might want to think about why he would think that. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with Cousins being a large black dude with a tendency to get into it with referees, who are, interestingly, not members of law enforcement, and thus cannot arrest anyone for anything. Of course not.
The Hot Take Sun has melted the wax of your wings, Clay Travis. You and your delightful haircut have plunged into "DON'T LOOK AT HIS MENTIONS OH GOD".
And DeMarcus Cousins, who is recovering from viral meningitis, is making fun of you.
And the Internet is pleased.