THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL LOVES PLANTS THAT THRIVE

Kirk Ferentz was hired as head football coach of the Iowa Hawkeyes on December 2, 1998. This season, his team went 7-6, including a loss to Iowa State and a scant two wins over teams that wound up in bowl games. In Iowa's bowl appearance, the Hawkeyes were down 42-7 after three quarters and allowed nearly 300 rushing yards. They are not ranked in the top 50 of any portion of the final F/+ rankings, and they are not in the top 40 in yards per play on offense or defense.

So that's why it's extremely dope that Kirk Ferentz surveyed this wreckage and said "no, I will make no meaningful changes whatsoever." (Ok, that's a little unfair. He DID say that he will spend more time watching film.) Ferentz is so confidently entrenched that he can turn a schedule many sportswriters foolishly said could result in an undefeated regular season for Iowa into 7-6 Stew, serve it in a dirty bowl, and politely refuse your request to take this slop back to the kitchen.

How unkillable is the Ferentz regime? Here's a partial list of things that haven't lasted as long as Kirk's 16-and-going years in Iowa City:

- the First French Republic

- ShowBiz Pizza

- *NSYNC

- King of the Hill

- David Robinson's NBA career

Keep slayin' em, Kirk.