THE CURIOUS INDEX, 01/12/2015

CHAMPIONSHIP, SIDE A. Bill C. has final thoughts before tonight's College Football Playoff National Championship Event To Be More Succinctly Named Later Sponsored By Company You Probably Dislike. (He's picking Ohio State, but I suspect he's just catering to his big cat readership.)

We're all rooting for our @OhioState #Buckeyes! O-H-I-O! @zoos_aquariums @OregonZoo #GoBucks #cbusproud pic.twitter.com/RPdWqIpAok

— Columbus Zoo (@ColumbusZoo) January 12, 2015

CHAMPIONSHIP, SIDE B. Oh, and North Dakota State won its fourth straight FCS title over the weekend. No big deal. We've all done impressive things over the last four years. I, for instance, have read at least six books and made a pastrami.

BRET'S NOT INTO THE WHOLE LONG TERM THING ANYWAYS. 2014 Arkansas offensive coordinator Jim Chaney will be 2015 Pitt offensive coordinator Jim Chaney. Does this end with Bret Bielema taking the Atlanta Falcons job within a week? You're goddamn right it does.

MONEY IS USELESS. Because people spend it on things like sitting in bleachers to watch National Championship Media Day.

THE STARS AT NIGHT. Are filled with salt and cheddar cheese and oh god being in Texas is ruining our bodies. Spencer condensed his experience into 60 seconds, and Dan Rubenstein and I gave you a helpful guide to watching the game on the cheap.

ETC. Think reaaaaaaaaal carefully before you decide to have children.