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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 9/30/2014

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NEVER STOP ASKING TO KICK IT

Kevin C. Cox

WAR DAMN EL SEGUENDO

When will this get old nope never never never stop remixing the Kick Six, ever.

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO ANYTHING. If it takes two days to issue a statement, it's time to just admit you can make jokes about the Michigan athletic department being too dignified to use a telegraph, much less do anything at the speed of even the 20th century, much less the 21st. Remember that they let Brady Hoke have a press conference yesterday, and then issued a statement that looks really bad when contrasted with Hoke's remarks during that presser? That was probably a bad idea. A lot of things are probably a bad idea for Michigan right now. The full stream is here; it'll get bigger and worse before this is over.

SAY IT FASTER, DAVE, JIMBO ONLY UNDERSTANDS 140 WORDS A MINUTE OR FASTER. The NC State coach apologizes for saying that the Seminoles faked injuries during their win over the Wolfpack this past Saturday.

YES LET'S DO THAT AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. Jeff Driskel would like to forget everything that happened against Alabama, which means he is just like you and me, buddy.

HUEYTOWN IS ASHAMED. We dunno, there's always someone to talk shit about you in a small town, man.

MIKE LEACH REMAINS A TROGLODYTE. It'd be so much fun to show him Tinder.

TRANSFER RULES REMAIN THE DUMBNESS. Why Kliff Kingsbury was even hassling a transfer request is beyond us-- they wanna go, just let them go like any other worker-- but it did lead to a father calling the coach "a scoundrel," so it's not entirely without dividend here. P.S. Transfer rules are the stupidest.

YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT IN A CIVIL SUIT. So don't assume George O'Leary would be the kind of insane racist capable of saying shit you hadn't heard growing up in the lower intestine of the American South, because that would be unfair and not based on any evidence anyone is presenting besides testimony and other forms of hearsay. Furthermore, it's presented by a former assistant coach trying to file a lawsuit over a firing he says was not for cause. So don't just assume you know George O'Leary, who is generally known as a good coach with a real way with people.

ETC: 'Sup.