SERIOUSLY, BILL SNYDER IS IMMORTAL Kansas State lost a tough game to #5 Auburn last night, playing both really really well (especially on defense) and also fumbling on its own 21, turning over the ball three times in the first quarter, and missing the chippiest of chip-shot field goals.
Bill Snyder handled this with aplomb, the same way he likely handled the Russo-Japanese War, the Panic of 1893, and the Whiskey Rebellion, because Bill Snyder is IMMORTAL.
i’m 34 years old, and bill snyder’s looked that age since i was in the 9th grade.— Bomani Jones (@bomani_jones) September 18, 2014
I would be significantly more afraid if Bill Snyder didn't seem like the kind of man who owns like, eight copies of the same George Strait album.
OKAY, 'BAMA FANS. As Alabama fans are, well, Alabama fans, some traveled to Manhattan, Kansas because anyone hypothetically beating Auburn is definitely worth the 800-mile trip. They then watched a team lose to Auburn partly because of kicking issues. Indeed.
UM... Texas Tech fired its defense coordinator - not for being bad at defensive coordinating, which would make sense because allowing over 5 yards per play is not advisable, but for showing up to work high. Allegedly. Super allegedly. He has since resigned.
HAPPY TRAILS, AND HOOK 'EM. Texas QB David Ash is quitting football because of continued problems resulting from concussions. He finishes with 4,728 passing yards and 36 touchdowns. This isn't the best decision, it's the only possible decision.
DO THE SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE. BYU will be honoring its least-BYUey quarterback, finally retiring Jim McMahon's jersey. No word on when they'll be throwing in the headband, sunglasses, and a copy of this book:
ETC. Scotland rejected independence so calm down, Northern Florida secessionists. I don't want to know what a Blarney Blowout is. Western Illinois has a player named after the first-ever juice made purely out of corn syrup. Devin Hester set a record for return touchdowns in a blowout win against Tampa Bay, so here is Devin Hester's first kickoff-return touchdown against Florida (SHIELD YOUR EYES, EDSBS OVERLORDS).