THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL HAS ANYTIME MINUTES

Kansas wants you to know that it's VERY popular in SEC country these days. Like, thinking about getting a second line popular. In the bedroom. But they're still being pretty coy about just exactly who these calls are coming from, which seems a little suspicious to us. You're a public institution, Kansas. And now we will review exactly where these calls came from, thanks to the power of FOIA'd voicemail transcripts.

April 28, 2014, 07:18 AM
Message from VANDERBILT ATHLETIC OFFICES
"Hi, this is Dave Williams at Vandy, calling to see what your football schedule looks like non-conference wise down the road a bit. We'd be interested in talking about a home and home, so just give me a call back whenever you get a chance. Thanks."

April 28, 2014, 11:40 AM
Message from UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY
"CHARLIE IT'S WILL I LOST THE INDEX CARD WITH THE COMPUTER PASSWORD ON IT AND NOW I CAN'T READ MY CHAIN EMAILS CALL ME BACK CHARLIE I AIN'T TRYIN TO GET ANY MORE CURSES ON ME."

April 28, 2014, 13:07 PM
Message from TEXAS A&M ATHLETICS
(laughing in the background)
"Guys, we can't just watch the Rice-Kansas tape all day! Ok, ok, one more time. Wait, what does 'end call' mean? I thought I was just saving a contact!"

April 28, 2014, 14:33 PM
Message from GOLFSMITH COLUMBIA
"Hey uh yeah this is um Billy callin' you back about that pest control problem. I never fumigated a building for Charlie Weis before but I talked to a guy in Indiana and he said you can't get it outta there for less than $18 million. Click clack."

April 28, 2014, 16:02 PM
Message from KENTUCKY WILDCAT FOOTBALL OFFICES
"Charlie, call me back as soon as you get this. I'm worried Mike's gonna tell Bob we're the ones who put cat food under his car mats. We're gonna have to buy his silence. I don't know how many White Mystery Airheads it's gonna take this time."

April 28, 2014, 20:50 PM
Message from TUSCALOOSA CITY COUNCIL
"Yeah, Kansas City Chiefs? WHY Y'ALL SCARED TO PLAY US AND SEE WHAT A REAL CHAMPION CAN DO ROLL TIDE."

April 29, 2014, 03:18 AM
Message from ANYTIME FITNESS COLUMBIA
"Hey, Coach Weis? Is your refrigerator runnin'? Then it probably only averaged two yards a carry! Smell you later, ya overpaid Dick Tracy villain!"