What's Frank Beamer cooking up for you? Well, any of the following:
- Revenge against that damn county judge and his high-falutin' cronies who put granpappy in the pen
- Probably not a quarterback
- Panda Cobbler (Panda Cobbler is a panda who makes shoes, not a dessert. Frank Beamer is not a monster. Also Panda Cobbler will get a few drives at QB "just to keep our options open.")
- Maybe a little 'shine if you're not wearing a G-man's shoes, friend
- The stuff you put in a car battery cause he makes his own and has since the Great Blizzard of '78
- Chicken thighs, because success hasn't dulled him to the pure value of solid savings combined with real savory yardbird flavor
- Maybe some pineapple rings, Frank's not immune to the charms of the islands
- Bud Foster's usual (grilled 12 pack of Busch Light put straight on grill, one whole hog head)
- A plan to put that Apple Store out of business once and for all, after they refused to repair his Laserdisc. IT'S MADE OF LASERS JUST GO GET MORE LASERS DUMMY.
- Another matchup with James Madison and dammit get the fire extinguisher--
- One shitburger labeled "FOR MIKE LONDON"
- New pot of turkey pheromones for huntin' season
- Second pot of turkey pheromones for courtin' season
- Jim Druckenmiller's Igloo Made of Ham
(Photo via the invincible Key Play)