BYU WR Devon Blackmon will be suspended for the Cougars' opener against UConn for violations of the team's honor code. His specific violation? Having pierced ears, something he referenced in a few Twitter posts last night before deletion.
Before BYU fans get too tetchy about us poking fun at the more outmoded and picayune sections of the honor code, let us remind the rest of the college football world that the Cougars are not the only team with their own versions of the honor code. They might be the only ones who have to do it along with the rest of the student body, sure, but plenty of other teams have honor codes.
Two parts, though, are truly offensive to common decency. The first:
Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
And that's where you lose the entire state of Tennessee and anyone who grew up there. The second offensive part:
If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth.
How on earth can you consider yourself true Westerners if no one on campus looks like Sam Elliott? Your ancestors didn't cross the plains to sport the accountant's sad private's stripe across his top lip. No, they wanted freedom, the kind that flows freely but neatly down the sides of the mouth like so much honey from the buzzing hive. Have your standards, sure--but a standard that follows the orders of Sergeant Major John Sixta isn't the one that honors your cowpoke ancestors, Cougars.
We shake our bonnets at this section of the honor code, BYU. We are shaking them so very indignantly right now.