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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL KNOWS THAT GUY

OOO LOOK AT THE FAMOUS MAN WEARING A SHIRT

By Ryan Nanni

HEY LOOK DAD'S ON THE TEEVEE

Live television means internet video. And internet video means GIFs. And GIFs mean we can imagine Spencer saying whatever we feel like.

"Here's my plan for Florida football: we bury Will Muschamp alive under the rolling hills of Cincinnati."

"The thing about the police is they only have authority because we all agree to give it to them. No, YOU'RE drunk."

"I'm not your father, and I never will be. But you will be seeing me at the breakfast table, because your mother is still a woman."

"What I really love about cheese is the taste. And the texture. Really, there's nothing I don't love about cheese."

"This is my mustache. There are many like it, but this one is mine."

"History is fickle, and it may yet prove that Lane Kiffin was outsmarting the rest of us the whole time."

"You can't be afraid of Success, unless Success is the name of an orca who wants revenge on your family."

"I had a dream that I was brushing a horse the other day. He told me the secret of existence, but I wasn't really paying attention because horses can't dunk."

"So your girlfriend rolls a Honda. Playing workout tapes by Fonda. But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda."