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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL HIRES THE HAY TEAM

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In 2012, a crack Cyclone unit was sent to prison by the NCAA for a violation they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security conference room to the Ames underground. Today, still wanted by the Association, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a defense, if no one else can block, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire - the Hay Team.

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TOM "TALL GRASS" FARNIOK

A former safari leader, Tall Grass can track an animal for days without stopping for rest or food. He swore off killing animals shortly before his arrest and now only hunts the most dangerous game: villainous men.

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DANIEL "FORTISSIMO" BURTON

At the age of 15, musical prodigy Burton was kicked out of Juilliard due to his habit of throwing his grand piano into the wall at the end of a performance. Fortissimo's keen ear comes in great handy to the team on recon missions.

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DEVLYN "TONIGHT SHOW" COUSIN

One of the world's greatest disguise artists, Cousin earned his nickname when, at the request of the CIA, he posed as Jay Leno for three years after the comic's death in 2006.

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TYLER "DDS" HARMEYER

Lost his dental license when he was caught using his equipment to break into incredibly small safes.

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CORY "BIG SPOON" MORRISSEY

Drummed out of every unit he has been part of for inevitably seducing the commanding officer's daughter. If love is a crime, Big Spoon is Al Capone.

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JEVOHN "THE FANTASTIC MONASTIC" MILLER

Even the rest of the team knows almost nothing about F.M., other than that he used to belong to a religious order and still adheres to his original vow of silence.