Just another beautiful morning in New York City, the most wonderful metropolis in these United Stoooooh god everything is the worst.
(stares out window)
(pays $2600 a month for the privilege of renting that window)
(the window looks out onto a Superfund canal)
(the Superfund canal will one day be floating condos, probably)
(can't afford SuperCondo)
(window rent goes up $500)
Fuck it. I'm moving to Pac-12 Media Days. That looks like the happiest place ever.