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Mark Zerof-USA TODAY Sports

"It is what it is and it's over. No one is pressing charges," Ford said. "It shouldn't have happened to begin with. The guy said 'Roll Tide.' He tried to provoke him. But Zach did not throw one punch, period. I was standing right next to him.

HEY ROLL TIDE, BUDDY. To get suckerpunched in the face at Loser's in Nashville is its own sad Barry Hannah story, but to have the indignity of "Roll Tide" thrown onto it is the sad poison cherry dotting the toxic sundae of a horrendous night out. And yes, in the most obvious line ever, it is double cruel to have further punishment delivered to Mettenberger in the name of Alabama football, since this was the last thing we remember seeing of "Zach Mettenberger, college football player."

Remember the time the Alabama defense turned Zach Mettenberger into a Skate 3 glitch? Remember that? Let's all agree never to remember that, and to remember something else less horrifying, like the time he was punched in the face by yet another unfairly maligned, rudely stereotyped, and not-at-all-typical Alabama fan in an incident only pushed as fact by the cruel media envious of Alabama's endless list of successes not just as a school, but also as a state.