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THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL IS NOT MEDIA

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NOT EVEN CLOSE

John David Mercer-USA TODAY Spor

(sad trumpet)

Please rise for the Pledge of SEC Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance
To the conference
Of the Southeastern states and Missouri
Oh and also Texas 
We're the best at sports
The Big Ten sucks
Real bad
And if they beat us
We were tired from our tougher conference schedule.

As per SEC Bylaw 10.6.7(a).Porkchop, you are only allowed to use the following terms to describe SEC Media Days:
exciting
- very exciting
- excitement-generating
- excitroglycerin
- reexcited and it feels so good
- great excitations

Finally, please be sure to fill out our SEC Media Days Attendee Survey:

How Long Should We Hold SEC Media Days In 2015?
1. Four days
2. Five days
3. Forty years and one day to show Moses what real toughness is
4. Let me live in the Wynfrey Hotel forever, just tell my family I went to prison or something