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Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

The new South Carolina and Texas A&M rivalry has very little history behind it-- as in none, since the two teams have never played football against each other, and have to resort to grasping at historical and cultural straws to make a soul connection between the two schools. Guns? Both states like guns, and barbecue? On second thought, let's not talk about barbecue, because the number of people with concealed carry permits and a debate over mustard sauce versus unadorned brisket is how people get killed.

Fortunately, someone has already come up with a brilliant solution: the James Butler Bonham trophy, named after a South Carolinian who died at the Alamo. Why is this appropriate in both directions? Well, Bonham died at the Alamo, which is the most Texan thing possible in history, and he did this, which honors the time-tested correlation between Palmetto State politicians and barking, possibly syphilitic madness.

Bonham entered South Carolina College in 1824. In 1827, in his senior year, he led a student protest over harsh attendance regulations and the poor food served at the college boardinghouse. He was expelled, along with the entire senior class. In 1830, Bonham practiced law in Pendleton, but was found in contempt of court after caning an attorney who had insulted one of Bonham's clients. When ordered to apologize by the sitting judge, he refused and threatened to tweak the judge’s nose. Bonham was sentenced to ninety days for contempt of court.

He caned an attorney and traveled several states to shoot people. HE'S PERFECT.