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WELL IT'S TOO BAD Y'ALL HAVE TO WORK THAT HARD

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STEVE SPURRIER REMINDS YOU AGAIN THAT WORK AIN'T HARD

USA TODAY Sports

Well----

[clears throat]

Looks like a damn shame, again, for you. All y'all watching film in the offseason. Making sure you talk about how much film you watch in the offseason, too. That's always good. Why don't ya call me and tell me how hard you're working. My phone's in the golf bag, by the way. I'll answer it if I hear it.

[THWOCK!]

Damn, that's a pretty ball. This thirteenth's a hard one, yanno? Kinda drifts right on you, then cuts back to the left sneaky-like. You should play it some time. Yanno. When you're not in that film room.

[CHIP!]

On the green in two! Well look at that. Whew, it's got to be in the mid-eighties out here. Might hit up the beer lady for a cold one on #14. I can have just one or two, because that's what I'm comfortable with. Poor ol' Nick, staying in the office until midnight every night. Probably good he's not a big drinker. He'd probably drink twelve in a sitting just to make sure he had gettin' drunk right. Then he'd fall off the barstool, and that's a real long way to the floor when you're a man his size. Might break something at that height.

Hold on while I hit this putt.

[drains 50 footer with belly putter]

WELLL LOOKA THAT. God's smilin' on this Gamecock today. Oh, I know, I could be recruitin'. Doesn't seem to help all that much, does it Nick? Hell, if I steal a few SEC titles at South Carolina, I might pull even with you on conference titles with half the effort. But whatever makes you comfortable. I don't judge, just like I hope you don't judge me for badass donut I'm about to do on this green in this golf cart.

You gotta look for the ones that don't have the restrictor plate on 'em, Nick. I don't just work smart. I play smart, too.

[tears giant donuts on green to celebrate birdie]