THE MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL IS ALREADY SHIRTLESS

The World Cup starts today, and, if you're not already a soccer fan, you need to figure out which of the following categories you fall into:

1. Potentially interested person who would like to know more and oh look here's a thorough and useful explainer.

2. Person screaming "WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THIS SPORT NOBODY SCORES AND IT'S ALL JUST YELLING ABOUT NOTHING NOW LET'S GO WATCH THE SPRING GAME TAPE AGAIN."

That's your choice to be in the second group, and we would never take that freedom from you. USA USA etc. But consider this - you are knowingly and intentionally passing on the opportunity to spend your summer afternoons ignoring work or cutting out early so you can yell at a TV and drink beer. It's sort of like when Arizona refused to recognize Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. The only person you're really ruining things for is yourself.

The rest of us are having a great time and laughing about how you're picking up our slack for the next month.