New York City. It's a place of big buildings, big dreams, and big retail banks. (That place you loved last time you were here? It's a bank now. Join or die.)
More than ever, college football's powers are making a push for supremacy in New York City. The Big Ten has opened a regional office in Manhattan, and taken on a series of neutral site exhibition games in nearby Piscataw- (what? They're a full member? R.. really? ...okay, we'll come back to that.) The ACC continues its push northward, with Syracuse billing itself as "New York's College Team", something I guess is technically true in the same way that LaGuardia is an international airport. The appeal is obvious: if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere! (Deeply in debt and heavily in denial about your life choices). Also, there's a ton of cable boxes in this city and remarkably little choice of providers.
Don't you threaten me.
DID YOU KNOW: there was once a bowl game in the New York metro area, the late-'70s Garden State Bowl? Like most 1970s New Yorkers, it tired of the weather and eventually moved to Florida under an assumed name, where it lived out its remaining years quietly as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Temple vs. Cal! Can't imagine why college football didn't catch on here.(You're probably saying to yourself right now, "what about the Pinstripe Bowl?", but that wasn't actually a bowl game. It was a failed sting operation hoping to bring Dana Holgorsen to town on outstanding warrants. Unfortunately, Dana knows the city's tunnels better than the rats do, and disappeared into the night. It was held again in 2013 out of pity, because Notre Dame just looked so sad all year.)
Distracted Summer Intern
Vaguely Threatening Brooklyn Landlord
Intense Salad Bar Guy at the Deli
Impossibly Large Group of Teenage European Tourists Blocking The Sidewalk
Okay the light's changing and - oh geez - alright let's go this wa- AHH MOVE ALREADY okay I think I scared that girl, now I feel bad but oh my god there's more of them where are they coming from I think I see an opening RUN FOR IT NOOOO COME ON IT'S JUST THE M&M STORE, GO IN OR DON'T BUT JUST LET ME THROUGH I JUST NEED TO GET TO THE SUBWAY okay I'm sorry let's just step into Pret a Manger I think I need to cry for a few minutes they just came out of nowhere and everything had been going so well today and then [sobbing]
"Showtime" Subway Dancers
Man In Dirty Elmo Costume:
That Cool New Bar Marco Told Me About