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WE ARE ALL GOING TO MEXICO CITY

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YO Y TU SU MAMA Y SU PRIMO, TAMBIEN

Miguel Tovar

WE'RE ALL GOING TO MEXICO CITY.

Fortunately, this is not a joke, and is reportedly what the Big 12 and Pac-12 want to do, most likely for the very different reasons of a.) Larry Scott want to play football anywhere because he is a nakedly insane futurist, and b.) because people in the Big 12 want cheap pharmaceuticals not available over the counter in the United States. Not anyone in particular. But just, yanno, someone. Someone most definitely not looking for powerful Chinese boner pills on the cheap, and at a fraction of what he pays Steve at the Nitro Sheetz store for 'em.

But what this really means is that we are all going on a road trip to Mexico, and that the Charles Portis-style fiasco that ensues will be the greatest college football story ever told. Ideally, it would involve the two most raucous fanbases traveling at their most foolhardy across land, and there you are, Washington State and West Virginia. It's decided. Leach v. Holgo in a defense-free firefight in the middle of Estadio Azteca. You'll be astonished at how many Mexicans show up to watch.*

*Promo flyers advertise not a football game, but instead a defenseless Landon Donovan tied to a pole surrounded by bags of urine.