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RICH RODRIGUEZ WOULD LIKE YOU TO HURRY THE HELL UP

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Normally, combining speed and Arizona ends in a federal prison.

Christian Petersen

Arizona Speed (via Arizona Wildcats)

Okay, RichRod, I will give you this stellar homage to one of 1994's most batshit films not involving Tarentino or Jamie Lee Curtis doing that weird striptease dance thing. You've got the bad guy apparently calling from a television production studio with no lighting and you succinctly explain your point about how faster play doesn't lead to more injuries while ruthlessly disregarding the rules about "less" and "fewer" because grammar's just another roadblock to PAC-12 SUPREMACY.

But there's no way you figure out the "move everyone to the same side of the bus" maneuver. You lost to Arizona State allowing 11 yards per pass, and you CERTAINLY haven't attached yourself to the underside of a bus while being yelled at by the creator of Skynet.

I will grant you your ability to make a kickass "Speed" parody. Now let's see what you can do with fifteen tabs of acid, the game against Oregon, and "A Scanner Darkly."