HATIN' ASS SPURRIER IS BUSTIN' YOUR BRACKET

Funny seein' a Florida team play defense AND score points.

I told Will Muschamp the Gators had six turnovers against Pitt and he started yelling at me about injuries until he passed out.

Pitt did real well for a team that kept trying to put french fries on the ball.

Seen a lotta ads for this show The Last Ship. No idea what it's about, other than "not Virginia Tech football."

Bunch of Appalachian types chasing a Buzz? Well, that's Blacksburg for you.

Amazing that Vincent Price is still spry enough to coach Wisconsin basketball.

Every white man I know named "Bo" either went to prison or should have. That's just the truth.

Can't believe UNC lost on that timin' issue, especially when all their players got an A in Intermediate Digital Clock Studies.

Two games in and John Beilein's boys have gained zero rushing yard, which makes them the best football team on campus.

Remember, Harvard: it's not a loss, it's "valuable study abroad experience." At least that's what y'all called Vietnam.

No one pays to go private school to fail anything, but here you are, Harvard.

The Sorbonne got famous alums, too, Jim Boeheim, but they ain't making it to the second weekend either.

Dayton's a great story. Nice to see Ohio's not too small or poor to field a successful athletic program.

Still can't believe Stanford beat Kansas by [NOTE: MATH IS OUTLAWED BY ALL KANSAS SCHOOL DISTRICTS]

Maybe we can get you into volleyball camp, Entire State of North Carolina.

Tom Izzo's a success because he sticks to his Italian roots: yellin' a lot while everybody else does the work.

Can't like UVA too much. Last time Virginians felt this perky they made my great-great-grandfather kiss a Union cannonball at Antietam.

Gonzaga's out. Can't say I'm sad about it. Always did find those no-genital-havin' Muppets creepy, especially Neuheisel.

"Survive and advance" is also how most Kentucky fans approach cardiovascular health.

I didn't know Hpnotiq made basketball uniforms, Baylor.

If you want to see what the Louisville/Kentucky rivalry is really about, throw some free Plan B in the stands and watch the hair fly.

Calipari and Pitino aren't so different. Both really just great recruiters who close deals really quickly. Especially Rick.

Lotta people think Kentucky's underseeded. They gotta pill for that, you know.

Hope Saint Louis is honoring the memory of Rick Majerus by pooping in towels during film study.

It's gotta be during film study, though. If you just do it whenever, you're honoring LBJ.

Arizona's gonna pick up so many fouls trying to search the Aztecs for green cards.

Rick Barnes should probably get fired, so in Texas years he's got three more seasons.

Well, sure, Tennessee football could win in the postseason if they got to play UMass and Merc-you know what, I take that back.

Luther Vandross sang "One Shining Moment," and now he's dead, and that's about all you need to know about that song.

Tennessee's got to be proud of their first big victory on a court since the Scopes Monkey Trial.

Iowa State's competitive, which is how you know basketball is a lie told by demon computers.

Gamecocks didn't make the tourney, but when you don't let Frank Martin point a gun at his players in practice, well, that's what happens.

How'd Clemson do?