This is the ring Ken Niumatalolo got for winning the Commander in Chief trophy last season:
(HT to Tom Fornelli)
It's pretty excellent, but it's also just a piece of jewelry. Doesn't it seem like you should get something more for proving yourself to be the greatest service academy football team in the nation? You've united the military Triforce, but the ring you get doesn't have a single magical power. What are we even paying you for, defense contractors?
If we can't give the winning coach control over some mystical artifact, let's compromise with this: let him be President for one day. It doesn't have to be an important day, but he gets 24 full hours as chief executive of the country. What could the possible drawbacks be? President Paul Johnson would have been fair, evenhanded, and wait what do you mean "a barter economy is the triple option these United States need?"
Oh, this is an open thread for basketball. So, um, yeah. GO TEAMS.