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MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL: ART BRILES AND FAST CARS

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SO TURNT AT 7 MILES PER GALLON

Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

A McLaren? We guess that'll do for old A.B. and the Baylor death machine, though the lack of bells and whistles does sort of miss the whole point of the Art Briles offense. A McLaren is fast as hell and functional, but it doesn't have aero flaps, the dash from a steampunk spaceship, and the halting anger in first gear you only get in a car that hates being in first gear for even a second. A Pagani Huayira: now THAT'S the Baylor of cars, produced out in the wild by a maverick engineer, custom fit right down to the hand-carved tires, and rare and fast enough that some don't even consider it street legal.*

*Nick Saban and Bret Bielema, specifically.