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MISSISSIPPI STATE UNDERSTANDS MIAMI TELEVISION

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ALL HAIL DOROTHY ZBORNAK, THE ORIGINAL NICK SABAN

Mississippi State will meet Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl, which is in Miami, and which once had a show called Miami Vice set in it. You should know this about Miami Vice: it was the first show to eschew dialogue and character development, and instead substitute long, sexy shots of fast cars roaring down empty highways late at night along with many scenes of the two protagonists brooding in expensive clothing. In other words, it fixed what had been boring about scripted drama for years. You're welcome. Love, Michael Mann.

For some reason, Miss State opted for a show about drugs, violence, and sex, but when you think about it Miami Vice really is the safest, least disturbing option for a promo parody for your bowl appearance. Nip/Tuck and Dexter got too terrifying to consider, Burn Notice and CSI: Miami were too dumb even for an SEC school to consider palatable fare, and Empty Nest was too obscure. I see you Silk Stalkings, but there were mountains in the background so we know you followed the tax credits and lower production costs and shot that shit in Vancouver without thinking we'd notice.

What about Golden Girls? That's the most obvious one of all to refute, since no one on the entire Mississippi State football team or staff has half the hard-bitten charisma to pull off even a half-assed version of Dorothy Zbornak, the Nick Saban of retirement heroes. Respect for understanding that from the start, Mississippi State.