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BOWL TIME IS HERE. Todd Grantham gets a reunion party, Holgo's walking in Memphis, and somebody gets to explain to George O'Leary what Bitcoin is. Oh, and did we mention Shreveport Ass Spurrier? Because that's a real thing, and it's going to be amazing. BONUS: Bill C. tells you which games are most watchable, using numbers and such.

BALLOT TIME IS ALSO HERE. The final Coaches Poll ballot is a safe space, where our finest and sharpest football leaders can feel free to let it all hang out. If Frank Beamer wants to rank Ohio State 2nd, he can do that! If Bret Bielema wants to put Georgia nine spots ahead of Georgia Tech, he can do that, too! Jimbo Fisher leaving the Dawgs off his Top 25 altogether? Totally possible, because this is a judgment-free zone.

MACK BROWN AWAITS YOUR CALL. Nothing's official yet, but rumors are swirling about Tony Levine's job status with Houston. Only bad rumors swirl. Good rumors bubble. This is sports media science.

DO NOT SHOW THIS TO ART BRILES. It's a fairly good case for why Ohio State made the Playoff instead of Baylor (or TCU) that doesn't rely on things like name brand or projected ticket sales, but it does not mention patriotism or Americatude a single time. Ever notice how much those Buckeye uniforms look like Soviet garb? You have now.

ETC. The perfect crime...until it was foiled via pizza receipt carelessness.