THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/30/2014

BILL SPICY. I know Oklahoma and Texas had bad games yesterday, but this bad?

PLEASE HAMMER DON'T HURT EM.

JUST DO THESE TWO VERY DIFFICULT THINGS. Ian Boyd says Ohio State has to do just two things to beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl: run the ball well and stop Amari Cooper. This is the same feeling I got whenever a law firm partner gave a presentation on "work-life balance."

THIS IS MY SURPRISED FACE. Oh right, that thing where Oregon lost their best cornerback and everyone on Florida State got healthy in time for the Rose Bowl and yeah just brace yourself for the Ducks to lose because this is not the season where you get what you want. (Unless you're an FSU fan, in which case, I'd like to preemptively tell you that I don't care.)

"PHIL KNIGHT REMEMBERS DRINKING ADULT BEVERAGES WITH MIKE BELLOTTI." You officially have my attention.

SLOW AND STEADY. Bob Bowlsby is here to maximize revenue for the existing members of the Big 12 and if that means fourteen years from now the Big 12 is just Texas and Kansas, well, so be it. We take this opportunity to remind you that Bob Bowlsby hired Kirk Ferentz at Iowa, because Bob Bowlsby is a master at long-term planning.

ETC. We totally forgot to wish Ted Danson a happy birthday yesterday, so here is the story about the time he did mushrooms with Woody Harrelson: