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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/26/2014

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ONLY THE SPICIEST LATERALS MADE OUR HOLIDAY BRIGHT

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Jamie Rhodes-USA TODAY Sports

CLEARLY IT'S ALREADY THE BEST BOWL GAME EVER.

Put your hand over your heart, indeed.

ALL THE BOWL GAMES TODAY ARE AWFUL. You'll watch them, though. Even the one with the really bad cryptocurrency mascot.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HERE'S A NON-CRITICAL BULLET WOUND. Florida cornerback J.C. Jackson is fine after being grazed by a bullet in a shooting in his hometown of Immokalee over the holiday. Jackson was in a car with WVU receiver Jacky Marcellus when a man walked up to the car and just started firing, hitting Marcellus' brother Jackinson in the face and sending him to the hospital in critical condition.

IF TELEVISING ANYTHING AND SELLING ADS AGAINST IT WORKS FOR MLB AS A BUSINESS MODEL, COLLEGE FOOTBALL SHOULD BE FINE. No one is showing up for games like the Bahamas Bowl, and it doesn't matter at all.

RUN THE DAMN BALLLLL, NUSSSSS. Nussmeier over the years has been pretty good with decent talent, and very good with exceptional talent just like most people handed the keys to the Alabama blue chip nacho pile of excellence. It'll still be McElwain's offense at heart, though, and anyone expecting a carbon copy of Bama's 2012 offense will be sorely disappointed because coordinators never, ever stop being coordinators.

ETC: The AJC can't stop doing amazing work. We will acquire this t-shirt immediately. Dad's already got the drone stuck to the dog.