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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/15/2014

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FOREVER ROWING

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PJ_FLECK_ROW.GIF. The top of this list comparing preseason predicted win totals to actual results has some obvious overachievers like TCU and Arizona and Georgia Southern, but it's also got Western Michigan, so never doubt that P.J. Fleck can teach a horse to compete in any Olympic sport. The bottom Power 5 team on the list? South Carolina, which somehow was more disappointing than Michigan.

ONE STEP CLOSER TO GOVERNOR GABBERT. I have no evidence to support this theory, but it's still enjoyable to imagine Gary Pinkel as a crime boss who's slowly moving to take control over every institution in the State of Missouri. Now he's added Missouri State University to his empire; Truman State, Washington University, and College of the Ozarks are next.

PLAYOFFS RUIN EVERYTHING. Excluding their loss to LSU, Sam Houston State went 8-3 this season but now finds itself two wins away from an FCS title. Coastal Carolina didn't get the luxury of facing Villanova, however, so they're already out of the running. WHEN WILL THE CHANTICLEERS BE GIVEN A FAIR SHOT NO I WILL NOT SIT DOWN NO I DO NOT CARE THAT THIS IS AN UNRELATED CHURCH SERVICE.

HE HAS HIS OWN APPLIANCES. Clancy Pendergast has two things going for him. One, he's a talented defensive coordinator with a reputation for turning mediocre units into terrifying ones. Two, he has a washer and dryer that Barry Switzer gave him. Are these appliances lined with illegal drugs? Hard to say, but damn if you don't feel invigorated when you rub a fresh pair of socks against your gums.

R.I.P. Our thoughts are with the family and friends of Jakell Mitchell, a freshman Auburn football player who was shot and killed over the weekend in an off-campus incident.