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Guess who's back
Back again
Barry's back
Back coachin'
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back

I created Wisconsin, but nobody wants to stay with the Badgers no more
They want money and better recruitin'
So I found a coach without even commutin'
A proven winner who knows about lootin'
The Big Ten's always been better suited
To offenses that don't fit other conferences
Schedule Massachusetts? Son, you know I will inquire
But I digress, we're talking bout a coaching hire
I had to find the perfect candidate who I'd never fire
Put all those resumes on this funeral pyre
As Athletic Director I cannot misfire
And grab someone who quits or tries to retire
But there's a man with a master plan
To win in Tampa or Afghanistan
Let me tell you sir, I assure you ma'am
The coach I've found is a real grand slam
So, stand up and yell, as I unveil
Our postseason captain as we set sail
And get ready, he really fills out a dress shirt
Middle fingers in the air, screaming "Fuck you, Bert!"

Now this seems like a bowl for me
So everybody, just follow me
I made an NFL prospect out of Jim Sorgi
Yes, the perfect interim coach is me