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THERE ARE ONLY TWO KINDS OF ALABAMA CONSPIRACIES. The first, of course, are those involving corrupt government officials. The second concerns the Alabama Crimson Tide. And, sometimes, when we're really lucky, we get a conspiracy that fits both categories, like this allegation that the Alabama Board of Trustees are trying to shut down UAB football in two years. Only you can save them, Jimbo Fisher. Only you can claim the destiny that was wrongly taken from you.

CHRIS FOWLER IN PLAYBOY. You're not even reading these words you're just clicking the link admit it.

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE. Look, it's not all Georgia fans wailing and gnashing their teeth. It's like, 78% Georgia fans wailing and gnashing their teeth, tops.

WAR DAMN ARKADELPHIA. Bruce Feldman has an interesting catch-up piece with former Auburn quarterback/safety Kiehl Frazier, who's now playing for D-II Ouachita Baptist and doing quite well, which is wonderful for him. Say, who else went to Ouachita Baptist?



SOME ENCHANTED EVENING. You read this snippet about Les Miles in which he refers to having "a wide variety of tapes" and you think, oh, he must just use the old terms. No. Les Miles quite possibly has an assistant who has to take his digital music and record it on a cassette for Les's personal enjoyment.

Also? How are you not going with "Luck Be A Lady" for your Sinatra song, Les?

ETC. This morning, Spencer sent me a video of a kid trying to make sparkling wine using a SodaStream while his dad records it.

It's the most predictable thing you've ever watched, and I'm still on viewing fourteen.