THE NICEST BREAKUP EVER. Will Muschamp may have been a disappointment as a football spouse, but he's going to make a wonderful ex. (So far: there's still time for him to trash our credit and put holes in every piece of drywall in the house.) Now comes the part where everyone get soft and nostalgic about him, which is fine. Here are the highlights from the Missouri game.
EVERYONE IS VERY CONFIDENT ABOUT THINGS AND CONFIDENCE. Florida is very confident about Bernie Machen's confidence in Jeremy Foley confidently finding a coach who can confidently lead the Florida football team confidently back to confidence. The first rule of communications is to use the word for the lacking attribute as many times as possible, and never say an accurate thing ever.
UM, SURE. Doc Holliday sure does fit the mode of "blustery recruiter no one else is considering," so you have to assume he's high on Jeremy Foley's list.
A NEW AND BOLD ADVENTURE TO THE CENTER OF A STORY'S COLON. It is astonishing how far up its own ass the Jameis Winston autograph story can go, but when Darren Rovell's involved rectocranial inversion is a given, and will be accomplished to degrees heretofore unseen in mortal man. The real lesson in all this is that the NCAA's rules empower grown men who make money off unpaid athletes' autographs, and any system that does that deserves to be burnt to the foundations immediately. (Also, this is not a story, and is Rovell pitting sources against each other over nothing because he couldn't get a larger story out of this.) (JOURNALISM.)
WYATT TELLER'S CRUEL BREAKFAST PLANS INCLUDE YOU. Oh, the grandeur of a pancake block looped in GIF form.
FRANK CLARK, GONE. Michigan released him from his scholarship yesterday after his arrest on domestic violence charges.
ETC: Of course the tiny 46 year old Jewish lady who keeps Drake from ruining his voice lives in Atlanta. Dave Chappelle interview for real? DAVE CHAPPELLE INTERVIEW FOR REAL.