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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/17/2014

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LET THE FLORIDA SPECULATION BEGIN

SO THIS ISN'T GOOD. MGoBlog was the first to notice that starting Michigan defensive end Frank Clark was arrested on charges of domestic violence and the details of the underlying events are just as terrible as you could possibly hope. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.

GOODBYE, TERRIFYING FOE. Todd Gurley's season is over after Georgia confirmed that he tore his ACL against Auburn. As always, we hope he heals quickly and fully, gets a nice NFL contract, and is the source of much frustration for the head coaches in Our Country's Greatest And Most Specialest League. (Especially Tom Coughlin. Frustrated Tom Coughlin is the best.)

YELLOW BEFORE BLACK, STAY AWAY, JACK. Because it happened during Oregon State-Arizona State, you may have missed the most important officiating moment of the weekend. You should definitely fix that.

BRICKED IT. Brian Kelly having to explain the math behind a decidedly easy decision that the totally fucked up and that totally came back to bite him against Northwestern is the best. Like a child trying to tell you why he thought he could "make his bed a waterbed."

ROAD OUTTA TOWN'S THAT WAY. In the extremely unlikely event that you missed it, Will Muschamp will be done in Gainesville at the end of the season, as first reported by Andy Staples. Now please excuse us as we have to go find Spencer and make sure he's not pushing over city buses while screaming "NO POLICE DEPARTMENT CAN STOP ME I AM THE UNKILLABLE."

ETC. Satanists are the most influential people in Florida education. They're much easier to deal with than the police, though.