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Mike Zarrilli

YOU'RE ALL DEAD NOW. Oh, it's just another J.Cole-themed video until Gurley's jersey appears.

It's fun to say that Todd Gurley will roll into this game and run for 200 yards, but that's inaccurate given the layoff and Auburn's periodic ability to stop the run. Nick Chubb has to get carries, too, so Gurley will top out at like, 175 yards, tops. (Also, Auburn will run for 300 yards and run the ball at least 55 times, because this is what Auburn always does.)

WELL SURE THAT SEEMS SIMPLE ENOUGH. The hopes of Miami depend not so much on Brad Kaaya making huge plays against Florida State, but on him not turning the ball over. This is a reminder that some football cliches are cliches because many of them happen to be annoyingly totally true.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. Ohio State will finish with a great record and astonishing numbers and possibly come short of the playoff thanks to the one thing they can't help: their schedule. In other Ohio State news, read Ramzy on going to the Middle East in the midst of a football season, and how your website's name can make Israeli customs agents nervous.

BLOODY FOREHEAD MAN SPEAKS. Rusty Whitt is the strength coach at ULL, but you may remember him best from the time he showed up with a bloody forehead on the sidelines for the Cajuns' bowl game. Turns out, people used to shoot at him as part of his job.

GO TO HELL, CLEMSON. It's been a few days, so here is another horrendous idea from athletics administrators.

WAIT, THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT A BAD IDEA. One of the things Michigan State is considering is not a terrible idea: heating the student section in East Lansing.

BIGASS TEXAS THINGS. Wright went to nine different spots in Texas on a road trip. For extra fun, read the whole thing out loud in his voice.