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SYMPATHY FOR THE SCHEDULE

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A SEASON LIKE THIS COULD ONLY BE THE WORK OF ONE MAN

Please allow me to introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste

I've been around for a long, long year

Stole many a man's playoff place

I was 'round when Gus Malzahn

Had his moment of karma paid

Made damn sure the center

Snapped his butt, and sealed their fate

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my game

I stuck around in Jacksonville

When I saw it was a time for a laugh

Flipped the script on Muschamp and Richt

The Gators barely threw a pass

I watched you tank

From your Top Ten rank

While Ol' Ballcoach raged

And the Gamecocks stank

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee

In Salt Lake City

When the Trojans fell

And Utes rushed the field

I shouted out,

"Who killed the Brothers Stoops?"

When after all

It was Bryce Petty

Let me please introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste

Laid a trap for the Cardinal

Knocked them out before they reached Eugene

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guessed my name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my game

Just as every Comm'dore's a Seminole

And all the Tide's a Wake

As heads is tails

Just call me Blue-cifer

Cause I'm deep in your playoff slate

So when you're meeting in your committee

Have some sympathy, and some taste

Use all your well-learned politesse

As I lay your polls to waste

Ooh yeah

Pleased to meet you

Hope you guessed my name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my game

Get down

Woo, woo

Oh yeah, get on down