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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/6/2014

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WE FOUND YOUR NEW LEADER, MICHIGAN

Harold Cunningham

1991 WAS A CRAZY YEAR. Amy Grant was tearing up the Casual Pop For Discount Clothing Stores charts with "Baby Baby," the Soviet Union collapsed, The Hunt for Red October won an Oscar (Sound Editing totally counts, haters), and Larry Blakeney was hired as the head coach at Troy. And now his reign is coming to an end. Thank you for all your hard work, Coach Blakeney, and remember - shome thingsh in here don't react well to bulletsh.

HOTTY TODDY FRANCE ALMIGHTY. In which Steven Godfrey surveys the aftermath in Oxford and stumbles upon a middle-aged man wearing a conehead. Why is entirely uncl-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW YOU LIKE THAT BAMA.

EVERYBODY GET YOUR POLL ON. New polls that still don't mean anything, both in a technical who-makes-the-playoff sense and a it's-barely-October one. Should you fight about them anyways? Yes, because you didn't jump into this college football ball pit to be sensible.

CHAMPAIGN FOR MY REAL FRIENDS. Real pain for Illini football, now without Wes Lunt for 4 to 6 weeks after he broke his leg in a loss to Purdue. (Did we mention Illinois lost to Purdue? Illinois lost to Purdue. It very much happened.)

PAID THE COST TO BE THE BOSS. Mike Slive's about turning fan exuberance into revenue safety. It's definitely a safety thing.

ETC. Gerard Depardieu has the grave robbing, prostitution client beating, wine-swilling experience you need from a head coach, Michigan. If you think that's crazy, it's certainly better than this idea. (We know it's probably sarcasm, but don't tempt those fates.) UConn: a dog school with a football problem no seriously the football team is literally a problem.