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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/31/2014

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A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY FOR A SPECIAL GHOUL

John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK SABAN

He turns 63 today.

TALKIN' BOUT THE NOLES. In yet another triumphant performance against all odds against a vastly superior opponent, the Florida State Seminoles prevailed again as they overcame a 21-0 first half deficit to defeat the mighty Louisville Cardinals. Beloved coach Jimbo Fisher's halftime adjustments were key to the win, with the Seminoles racking up hard-hitting yards on the ground and ultimately going on a 42-10 run to finish the game. America's team now gets extra rest before facing noted ACC power UVA next Saturday. Yay.

IF THIS ALL SEEMS BAD. Just imagine if this had occurred in the internet age.

IF THIS SEEMS BAD, TOO: IT IS BECAUSE KYLE ALLEN IS STARTING FOR THE AGGIES AND TEXAS A&M IS BASICALLY HITTING THE RESET BUTTON THIS LATE IN THE SEASON.

AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT FLORIDA. At least they're not, you know...us.

PSSST THIS HAPPENED, TOO. In the middle of the game last night the NCAA raised one cheek, waited until someone in Papa John's Stadium coughed, and farted out the announcement that Todd Gurley's suspension had been upheld. How everyone in that building does not die from shame is one of science's

FOOTBALL SCHEDULE: That TCU/WVU game could be pure flame, but Ole Miss/Auburn has sneaky combustion potential, as well. Did you know there are "Football" games tonight? (Quotes mandated by legal, substance known as "football" in no way legally resembles the sport.)

THEY SHOULD SWITCH PLACES FOR A GAME. Bruce Pearl's Halloween costume is Gus Malzahn, and don't think Bruce Pearl won't try to pick up a lady in it without telling her it's a disguise.

ETC: Dale! Thank you for preventing this tragedy, Spider Man.